Baby Shower: To go or not to go? That is the question.

7/16/10 So there's this baby shower this weekend. Ugh! Normally I don't go to these things, but it's a baby shower for a V.I.P. friend. Do I go? I know it's a little crazy to consider going after everything that has happened. But I do want to see my friend. Don't get me wrong, I gave up on going to baby showers a long time ago. In fact the last time I went to a baby shower (a couple's baby shower-husbands included) was a over a year and a half ago and it was torture. It was a few months after my first miscarriage, and the only reason why we went was because the couple the shower was for are good friends of ours. They were a couple we did a lot of double dates with. It was hard being there. What got to me the most was that almost every wife there was pregnant or toting around their little newborns and/or toddlers. Apparently, some people thought it was okay to bring kids. Screaming kids. Poor pregnant friend of ours had a wake up call of what was to come. Anyway, they all lined up together to take a picture of their cute preggy bellies. I remember thinking to myself "I would have been the ninth pregnant one up there taking a photo with all of them, had it not been for my miscarriage." I at least wasn't alone. I had my husband to hang out with so I wasn't bombarded with preggy talk. And there was another gal there who knew somewhat of what I was going through. She too, also wanted a baby. She has since had a successful IVF...or so I've heard.

I don't want to be rude or offend anyone by not going to their baby shower. So for a while I use to buy gifts and drop them off as a way to avoid going. But it got to a point where I learned to avoid going into Babies-R-Us all together. Then I use to buy cute baby books from Barnes & Nobles as gifts, but even buying books is hard for me to do now. I see books that I grew up with, and had hopes for sharing with my future children. The best way for me to handle baby showers, especially those forced on me, like the ones at work, is to simply buy a gift card with a card from Wal-Mart. I've also come to the conclusion that unless the baby shower is for someone I consider a "sister" or V.I.P. I'm not going to go. Nor will I get a gift. Period. And usually the invitations or baby announcements end up straight in the trash.

So as far as this weekend is concerned. I will probably go, depending on my mood, at least stop by with my card/ gift card. I know it sounds crazy, especially after an IVF failure so recent. But there are certain friends that come along and are considered a "friend for life" or VIP. Even though we get busy in our own lives and don't talk as often as we would like. Really, I'm going just to see her, not for the whole baby shower thing. It will definitly depend on my mood whether I go or not. If I start feeling at all like breaking down and crying on my way, I will turn the car around. There are certain times of the "month" where it is easier to handle these sort of things. I've noticed when I'm in that "two week waiting period" I can be a little more optimistic because I am always thinking in the back of my mind that I might be pregnant. That's how I've been able to handle going to church on Mother's Day so far. Anyhow, at least I have my sister's bridal shower next weekend to look forward to. I'll have more fun at that...as long as no one asks me about when Marc and I are going to have kids.