Finding a Balance

My last ultrasound appointment went okay today. I'm a little discouraged because my left ovary is not cooperating. My doctor has been trying to find a fine balance between stimulating the left ovary, without overstimulating my right ovary. After today, it sounds like my left ovary follicles are not going to be good enough to fertilize. We won't know for sure until the day of the egg retrieval, which will be Friday morning. We not only need a miracle to get pregnant, but we need a second miracle to get my left ovary follicles to grow large enough.

There was some discussion regarding whether or not we will retrieve enough eggs. If we don't retrieve enough eggs, (at least 6 good eggs), we might consider doing Artificial Insemination instead. If this is the case, I don't know what to do. We could continue with doing this IVF cycle, but knowing that our odds are very low to even get a viable embryo. Everything until now has been fairly easy. After my appointment, I did a little retail therapy at the Gateway and spent way too much. All I know is that I'm doing everything I can do. Marc gets to stab me in my upper butt tonight with "Big Bertha" needle tonight with the HCG shot. Tomorrow night I get a break from injections. (Yeah!) And Friday morning will be the big day of the egg retrieval and hopefully the embryologist will be making our baby(ies). We will have more answers then.

I can't help but beat myself up for waiting too long to start trying to have a baby. I wish I would have listened to my mom, and not taken advice from other couples to wait to conceive. I wish I wouldn't have waited so long after our first failed IVF to do a second IVF cycle. My eggs really are soggy. :( I'm only 31, but it feels like my eggs are like I'm 41. Left ovary, PLEASE COOPERATE!!! You only have 36 hours to grow those follicles!!!