Friday, September 23, 2011

Bad Timing

Of all the times to get an eye inflammation, of course it had to be the time during my "2 week wait." UGH!!!! Really?! So I have a weird eye inflammatory disorder called iritis. It flairs up on me every once in a while. It's been 4 years since I had this last (of course right before Marc and I went on a cruise.) This stupid eye thing keeps coming up during the worst time. And I can't wear my contact lens!! I HATE wearing glasses!!!! It causes redness and irritation to sunlight, entering from a dark room to a light room causes pain, pain/pressure behind my eye. The eye drop meds. for it makes my vision blurry in which ever eye is affected, but it beats getting permanent vision loss, or damage. Maybe it's been a blessing in disguise, because I've been focusing on my eye pain more than this IVF 2 week wait period. But it's also got me paranoid. "Are the eye drop meds. okay to take if I'm prego?" The doctor said there are no studies on it. "Maybe my iritis is a bad sign, like since I have inflammation, maybe my immune system is on alert and it's going to kill off my embryos." I'm frantically googling "iritis and infertility." Or I thought on a positive note: "my sister-inlaw was unable to wear her contacts during pregnancy because they irritated her eyes...maybe I'm pregnant? " The eye doctor wants to do a work up on my to try and find the cause of this iritis. But until then I'm wearing my glasses and no eye make up since I'm doing eye drop meds on the hour/every hour.

And to add to the stress of this, the day this flared up on me, my doggies also tried running away twice! I had a little bit of a breakdown Wednesday night after the second time they ran away. My poor husband was trying to track them down, while on the phone with the eye doctor, and dealing with my mental breakdown. It hurt even to look at the light glaring from my cell phone, so he also helped me call/text people at work and help find a replacement for me so I could go to the eye doctor. I originally had an appointment for today, Friday, but I couldn't wait that long. Iritis is serious and I could loose my eye sight. So I'm glad I went in to the doctors sooner. I was trying to hold off long enough so I didn't have to miss any more work. But I heard that yesterday, the day I was gone for my appointment was a hard day at work. So I'm kind of glad I missed it.

On another frustrating note: I've had some spotting today. Now I'm thinking, great! IVF didn't work. I'm probably trying to start my period. My one sister-inlaw, whose been through this infertility/ IVF as well, reassured me that it's probably okay. My other sister-inlaw bleed really bad the first month with my niece, she didn't even realize she was prego until a month later because she thought she had a period. My spotting did subside. I did buy a preggy test today at the grocery store, I was wanting to wait till Sunday to take it, but I'm half tempted to take it now. I know last time with IVF, I was prego, and the preggy test did indicate pregnant, but it took a long time to show up, so I knew last time something was wrong. My HCG level after the blood work came back at 20, which it needs to be at least 100 to be considered a viable pregnancy. So I know if I take a pregnancy test now, it might not mean anything. Plus I've got all these hormones in me that the nurses said could through off a home pregnancy test. So I really won't know for sure until monday, anyway.

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