Some Good News

So I apologize for not posting anything new in a while. I found a website called daily strength that specializes in grief support groups. And I have been spending a lot of time on there. They have all types of support groups from anything from depression support groups, to job loss, to of course, infertility support groups. I was also given a book by a co-worker called "But If Not. When Bad things Threaten to Destroy Good People. Both have been really helpful in helping me heal.

On the up side of things, my husband found a job!!!! Almost after a year of searching, it sounds like things may actually start falling into place for us. It's a job at Hill Air Force Base. Though the pay won't be near what he was making before, we will at least get benefits! Benefits that will hopefully pay for some genetic testing that we need...I don't know if they will, but fingers crossed! Also, they are really good about working with his school schedule. I was really worried that he would get a jog somewhere, we would have to pick up and move, and he wouldn't be able to finish his MBA program at Weber State. And once he gets his MBA, there is a chance he might be able to move up a couple of levels...and pay!!! He should be starting on the 30th of this month.

On the fertility side of things, I've been having all these weird dreams. Dreams that have brought up a lot of issues for me. One dream, I dreamt my husband had an illegitement child, and the mother was a terrible mother and we were trying to get custody of this little four year old girl. I remember feeling so much love for this little girl, even though she wasn't my own. Another dream I had was that I found out that my younger sister was pregnant, BEFORE me! And the last dream I've had was that I was pushing around a stroller with a newborn girl at OfficeMax, and my husband and I ran into an old friend. But the baby wasn't our, we were watching our new little niece, whom my sister in-law had through IVF, which worked for her. I have had all three dreams within the last three days. I don't know why, but I know all these dreams point to my fears. Like adoption, or my sister having kids before me, or never being able to have kids. It sucks!